Untethering
Early August 2015
It took me 36 years and 13 days to realize I've lived my life in full-on heart protection mode. The carnage has included countless missed opportunities in which to revel in the moment, cherish the relationship and simply be. The utterance of four words several months ago changed everything in my life as I knew it. Since then, intentional unbinding has been my modus operandi. My life has been comprised of intentional acts to cultivate freedom, untangle and release the ties that bound my heart.
It's a process that by no means is over. However, today as I put it all together, I realize the nature of my bound heart and vow to take conscious action to continue the unbinding process.
"I feel dead inside." As the words escaped my lips, intuitively, I knew they were a soul cry. Those four words unlocked a portal to change. As my heart and my soul cried out, yearning for something more, something better, they craved to be unbound, to taste freedom, to embody purpose.
With each conscious untethering, I've tentatively tiptoed out of the bounds of each previous constriction, testing the waters, dipping a toe into new and uncharted territory. What I've found is that with each new space, countless emotions arise. I honor each emotion by providing it breath and space to show up and fully occupy that space. The emotion then dissipates and a new version of myself emerges.
Since the day of my soul cry, I've chosen to forgo the security of job, home, relationships and nearly everything I own to give space for my heart. My heart desperately craves space in which to thrive. By recognizing my truest feelings and honoring my deepest desires, I hope that I may learn unconditional love.
Unconditional love starts with the self.
I must love myself first - unconditionally. I must recognize the cries of the soul and honor the desires of the heart. The next steps on my path are unclear. However, the spiritual practices that resonate with me most have led me here, to this moment, one step closer to an unbound heart.
Connect: I invite you to honor your own heart through this meditation practice.
Find a quiet space and at least five minutes of uninterrupted time. Tune into your heart center. It may help you to rest one or both hands on your heart.
Breathe into this space.
Draw your breath into your heart.
Ask your heart what constrictions exist. In what ways is your heart bound?
In the safety of the silence, ask how you might untether any heart wishes that lie just on the surface of the heart.
When you feel ready, ask what desires lie deep within the heart and if there are any messages that might be helpful in realizing those desires.
Throughout the meditation, as emotions arise, pause. Give them space and breath.
Allow the emotions to occupy the space until they start to fade, and they will.
Simply trust the practice.
Give each emotion breath as it arises. Give it more space and more breath.
Let the emotion untether with each breath and gradually fade into the space.
Sit with your breath.
As more emotions arise, rinse and repeat.
Take note of the heart wisdom that arises throughout your meditation. With regular practice, your ears will attune to the whispers of your heart so that you, too, may become untethered. ♥
Untethering is part of a collection of writings that chronicles my inner journey through Southeast Asia.