All is Well

Exhaling

the breath I didn’t even know I

held

on

too

two years?

six years?

How long?

too

tightly

too tightly wound

up

in

out

in the cocoon

I’ve nestled in

deeply held

within

free

breaking

free

sprouting wings

tumbling through

unknown

finding ground

feeling held

sun

on my face

clarity

clearly free

rebirthing

orienting

to what is

what was

what I held

what did I hold?

on

to

too

too tightly

why?

released beyond tears

maybe years

through all this

remembering

to be held

I’m not held

down

no longer.

I breathe

I cry

I release

I am

free.

finally

finally free.

regained

regained ground

beneath

unearthed

a version of me I didn’t know

existed

she is here

she is rising

she is reclaiming

the fight

isn’t

over

for some

threads have just begun

to be woven

for strength

for clarity

not broken

never broken

held

held strong

held strongly

attuning in

to

here

and

now.

Steady

unbroken

stillness

abides

not abandoning

myself

any longer.

Here.

held.

released.

exhaled.

Whole

healed

a blessing

true.

open

opening

opportunity

possibility

bliss

A chance

at life

renewed

restored

unbroken

released.

All

is

well

Making Space for Magic

One of 12 chosen to be a part of the inner circle, I was lucky enough to have a front row seat to watch it all burn.

Months ago, the Phoenixville Firebird Festival popped up on my social media feed. Reading about the artistry, the significance of the festival and the community effort involved, I felt a call to attend. As it drew closer, out of the half a dozen people I invited to go, no one could come with me. A week before, I said to the Universe, “if I’m meant to go, I will.”

A friend I hadn’t spent any solo time with texted me two days before the Festival and asked if I wanted to go with him. He said he was friends with the artist, Henrik Stubbe Teglbjaerg, who created the 20 foot tall phoenix and that we’d go early in the day to enjoy the festivities. I enthusiastically agreed and thought we’d be among the 10,000 attendees of the festival braving the 20 degree evening awaiting the phoenix to be set ablaze. The Universe had another plan in store.

“In Rhythm” - Phoenixville, PA February 2025

We arrived early last Saturday, joining the colorful band of drummers adorned in costumes of varying colors and eras. I played a tambourine for the first time as the group drummed outside the art studio awaiting the procession to the phoenix. We came inside the studio to warm up and engaged in the group arts and crafts activities. My friend introduced me to Henrik. As we drummed, Henrik came over and explained he could select 12 people to be a part the “inner circle.” He asked me if I’d like to be among them and carry one of the bird’s wings. I mean, how does one answer such a invitation with anything other than, “yes”?

Shortly after, we left the art studio with our instruments. The intended procession of 100 ballooned to several hundred as we walked over bridges and through neighborhoods trekking the mile to the burn site. Right before arrival, I assumed my wing-holding duty as a puppeteer for the first time in my life. Grasping the bamboo pole, I upheld the left wing of a 30-foot white fabric bird parading around the wooden phoenix. We wound our way through the drummers and dancers and stopped at regular intervals to hype up the crowd circling, circling, feeling the energy and anticipation of everyone awaiting the main event.

We were told to clear the space, making room for the four people entering with lit torches, Survivor-style, that circled the phoenix, readying us for our lesson in impermanence.

This phoenix, which takes 3 months to build, was completed in December 2024 and meant for ceremony on the winter solstice, but a drought and burn bans delayed things until Imbolc. Imbolc, St. Brigid’s Day, a festival of renewal, fire and fertility, is held on the halfway point between the winter and spring equinox.

As I watched the torches draw closer to the phoenix and set the structure ablaze, I couldn’t help but flash to the current state of things in our state, our country, the upheaval happening within me as a result of all that was going on outside of me.

“Ablaze: Surrender to the Elements” - Phoenixville, PA February 2025

And I stilled,

We all stilled.

And watched in awe and reverence at the mighty elements raging.

In that moment, I realized that when I make space for possibility, magic happens.

When I let go of the need to control, when I surrender how I think something should look or feel or go, there is an opportunity for something so much greater to arise.

I wanted to push and pull and coerce my way into attending the Firebird Festival. Instead, when I surrendered to the Universe and opened my heart to whatever might arise, epic possibility rushed in.

And so it begins, this chapter of trusting and opening to magic and delight and rebirth.

And so it is…

“When I run after what I think I want, my days are a furnace of distress and anxiety. If I sit in my own place of patience, what I need flows to me, without pain. From this, I understand that what I want also wants me, is looking for me and attracting me. “ ~Rumi

The Work to be Done

It is easy to dissociate. 

It is easy to numb out.

It is easy to be disenchanted.

It is easy to be angry.

It is easy to react.

It is easy to fall into habit.

It is easy to be apathetic. 

Empathy takes work.

Compassion takes work.

Healing takes work.

I am here to do the work.

I am here to cultivate my light, my wisdom, my perspective. 

I am here to illuminate.

I am not here to sit quietly, except on my meditation cushion.

Compassionate activism.

Spiritual and personal inquiry.

Mindful action.

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Ebb and Flow #2: Oceanside, Ca

The Ultimate Gift of The August Break

When I signed up for The August Break, I intentionally entered these last 31 days without expectation. I'd seen photo challenges, yet this was the first I felt drawn to participate in. Today, the final day of The August Break, offered the prompt, "August was...," inviting me to reflect this morning on just what August was.

I used the last page of my Morning Pages, the three pages of longhand stream of consciousness writing I do each morning, to flow about my experience. I feel compelled to share that with you:

"August was a reminder of the beauty of pause, of the beauty that surrounds us all when we take time to notice it. It was an opportunity for me to really enjoy the neighborhood and be awake and aware. It was a chance to express my creativity and connect with others. It was an opportunity to share my perspective of the world. Perhaps that's why the face/self portrait was so hard, it was the world looking in, a different energy, rather than me looking out. It was a chance to see my world through the lens. It was a chance to surrender through the prompts, to provide a theme for my day, of my world and my perspective. It was really a wonderful chance to reconnect with photography, through other people's pictures, to feel out my own rigidity and anxieties. It was really a chance to see how I could conform and how I could soften and how I could rebel and how I could comply and how all those states/actions felt. There was a tangible product, the picture, a tangible product of my perspective and the way I viewed the world. No one could change it or alter it. I think that might be why I don't like photo editing, it alters the truth, it alters the viewpoint, more rigidity, because I see the creativity and value in editing as an artistic endeavor. It is really the chance to let go. It provided me with an invitation to let go. That is the ultimate gift. I am grateful for this practice."  

Every opportunity to let go, to surrender, is welcome. Every opportunity to soften is welcome. Every opportunity to connect is welcome. 

I'm incredibly grateful to have chronicled my life through the lens during this last month. I'm incredibly grateful to have shared The August Break with you. If you missed any of the month's photos, here they are. ♥